It's officially March... and I can't believe it. Time flies so fast, it's scary. Besides time going by fast, I wanted to share a new post with you all! It's been a little bit since I shared a post. This blog that I've created is a place where I can share outfits, travel, and other things. But once and a while I'm going to be sharing more personal things. After all, I am sharing pretty much everything else in my life. Why not add something more personal? Maybe the thoughts I have you can relate to? I honestly don't know, but here I go.
So. The last month has been interesting. Have you ever taken a step back and thought deeply about the negative effects on people because of social media? There are things that happen on social media everyday that can negatively impact someone. Comparison, self doubt, high levels of anxiety, FOMO, depression, and even bullying... Thankfully I haven't been bullied as much as some people on social media, but there have been comments on my page that have stayed with me and still hurt these days. It honestly hurts me when I see other people being bullied. It needs to stop. I was bullied a little bit growing up for being "overweight", and I've always worried about my image. It's something I know that I personally have to deal with, and sadly a lot of girls do. The industry that I chose to be can be a very, very dark place. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE WHAT I DO. I feel so incredibly blessed to have the job I do, and the people I get to meet through social media. Heck, I met my husband on Instagram almost seven year ago. BUT. Dealing with your image EVERYDAY can be a lot.
Now, I don't want to be one of those people that talk about Instagram all the time. There are better things to life to talk about. But Instagram has been brought up in many topics about bullying, high levels of anxiety, comparison and thinking you're not good enough, etc. Also, it’s been one of the main resources for brands to find influencers and talent, get inspiration, and network. I feel very blessed to have worked with SO many brands and clients over the past few years with my instagram. It's lead me to a place where I never even imagined being at six years ago. I thought I'd be doing something completely different.
With Instagram, we all know about the new algorithm. Some people have been negatively impacted by it, and others have skyrocketed. With these ups and downs, it can cause negative affects on your mind and body. I definitely have fealt these things, but I’m learning to be myself and not put my self worth into my numbers. Sometimes I'm not confident enough to post a photo because deep down I'm thinking that people won’t like it. ITS SO DUMB. And I know I'm not the only one that feels that way about it! Everyone should be able to post whatever photo they like, and not feel this way. Why is it that some people have to deal with this?
Or there are the people who consistently compare themselves to others. They feel like they're not good enough because "they don't have the perfect lighting" or "I can't wear that it would make me look fat". LET'S STOP WITH THE BODY SHAMING AND FINALLY LOVE OURSELVES. I've been trying to tell myself that for YEARS, but it’s still something that I battle with today. But, if you're looking at instagram, and comparing your bodies or image to someone else... that is not okay. Follow people you know that are inspiring and positive, and also surround yourself with good people everyday.
Earlier in February, right after Cory and I shot these photos below... I posted one of these images and was already getting negative comments and results on my feed. And honestly, it really affected me. Apparently I was on the tip of the iceberg, becuase it lead me to breakdown. My brain was shutting off, I was shaking due to anxiety, I didn’t think I was good enough, and I wanted to quite everything I was doing. AFTER ONE PHOTO I POSTED. I told myself that I needed to snap out of this because it's affecting everything in my life. I realized I needed a healthy break from social media.
IT WAS CRAZY. I took a week off. Every couple days I was going on and posting images I needed to, and then I would sign out and not get any notifications about images, or scrolling through my feed. For a couple days I deleted the app to not even open it. During that whole time, I never noticed how much I'm on the app... Without even thinking, I would just pick up my phone and try to open Instagram even though the app wasn't on my phone. I DID THAT NINE TIMES IN ONE HOUR. That happened every hour for two days straight. Yeah, it's my job but I never realized how much I needed a break, and how unhealthy it is for me to be on that platform all the time. When we went out for dinner with friends I didn't even have my phone on the table. It was so wonderful to engage in conversations without picking up your phone to check your social media apps. I feel like I actually got to catch up with my friends and have more meaningful conversations. We talked about the things that they had probably posted on their Instagram or story, but I didn't see it so it lead to an actual conversation. It was refreshing.
People take vacations for a reason; to get their minds out off of work and just relax. I'm always thinking about work and what photos I can create, location scouting, outfits I can put together, flights for photo trips, everything that comes with being freelance, and then all of the negative things about Instagram. So I took a break and it was amazing. After the fourth day, my brain just felt at ease and I wasn't anxious. I was a happier person. I'm now back on the platform, but my perspective has changed. I can now be on it but also learning how to separate life and work. I’m still going to be doing my blog and posting on my social channels, I just look at it in a healthier way.
So these photos in this post are something I was scared to post on my instagram because I didn’t think it went with my feed or didn’t think that people would like it. BUT GUESS WHAT. I'm going to post these without a regret because I need to LOVE MYSELF. God might be leading me in another direction and I have no idea. But I need to tell myself that it is all happening for a reason. For the others out there that are dealing with negativity and not loving yourself, KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND KEEP GOING. I'm dead serious. If you're one of these people that have been affected negatively by the platform.. take a break and engage with the things around you. It's refreshing and one of the best things you can do for yourself. It's hard, but worth it.
Thank you for letting me share my thoughts and reading this.